The Independent Woman: A Dangerous Illusion
09 October, 2017 I by mpowher
The independent woman phenomenon is one that, on the surface, is alluring and something one should aspire to join.
It feels good to be able to go wherever we want to unencumbered by the need for anyone else’s approval, to pay for our expenses, to be in charge of our destinies, not relying on any man, or woman for that matter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we should go through life couch surfing and freeloading. We should strive to provide for ourselves, and enjoy the freedom that comes with being responsible for ourselves. I am saying that there is a message being presented by some in society that can be dangerous if not balanced with Scripture and good walkin’ around sense (in the my Granny Mary’s no-nonsense voice).
The actual definition of independent is: free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority; not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.
This is where I would offer a word of caution to my fellow Christ-following sisters. We must be dependent on God’s authority, for livelihood and subsistence. And no, this is not a reach or me trying to be deep. This is a point that is addressed in Scripture (so many times that I won’t list them all here).
The latter portion of John 15:5 (NLT) says: For apart from me you can do nothing. If He doesn’t wake us up enough to hear our alarm clock, it could go off for hours and we’d never wake up to turn it off. Our very breath is a result of His love, grace and mercy. In Him we live, move and exist, Acts 17:28 (NLT). Depending on God is not a weakness. It is a necessity.
We must be careful when labeling ourselves independent. That word is a definite exclusion. It does not allow for any outside input. That is a precarious place in which to live. Proverbs 21:2 says that every man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.
Why would we purposely and consciously exclude the One who made us, in His image no less? He knows the end from the beginning. Why wouldn’t we consult Him, if for no other reason than to avoid the pitfalls that lie ahead? We must heed the advice given in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Listen, He knows all. Seems like He would be the first and best person to trust.
Without anyone to challenge our thoughts and opinions, we will most assuredly self-destruct.
When we build a wall to keep hurt out, we also keep ourselves in. Sometimes, God’s authority and assistance come in the form of other humans. Proverbs 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Ecclesiastes 3:9- Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
The importance of having relationships with people who follow Christ, love you enough to call you on your mess, celebrate you and support your pursuit of perfection in Christ is immeasurable. Pray that God would give you a covenant accountability partner after His own heart. Be that for someone else.
So while independence sounds ideal, if left unchecked, it is a perilous path to walk down. God has guaranteed us success if we do it His way. He knows best. Depend on God. Proverbs 16:3- Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.